Thinking.

I wonder why im at uni. My friend cambee said hes not going to uni til he decides what he wants to do with his life. Like as though uni is the means not the end. I never thought of it like that. I've pretty much achieved everything i set out to do in this life. I need to create some new goals. For a while i was thinking of goals that weren't the right ones. Now I want to find real goals, and considering how easily i achieved all the others, i can probably achieve these too. I know Marcelle is a part of them. I want to be with her so badly, I know I love her so much! I'll see her again tomorrow. I can't wait to feel her someone in my arms again. And I can't wait for it to be her.

Ive been tempted to write something about 'the day after tomorrow' and 'troy' cuz i saw them recently and they made me think about war and climate change and big things like that. But nothing i say in here is important or relevant, cuz i'm not an expert in these things. Id rather wonder out loud (sound of fingers on keys hehe) about me...and use this as a tool to explore who i am.

Its good talking to cambee...we ponder the universe. We've both matured so much, in different ways. Sometimes I feel like i'm my immature younger self standing outside of myself looking at my mature self and thinking 'wow, when did that happen.'

Somehow ive experienced so much in the world already! I know so much! I don't know everything. I think I'm learning not to know everything too. I have an anti-role model for that. Its strange living next to so many people i dont know. Before I lived next to empty spaces...places that had potential perhaps, weren't used up. They wont get used up though either. I hope Australia doesn't die of the heat and the dryness.

I like the night time. I think my computer is my third arm. But maybe i'm losing touch with it. I think the internet is too big. Its good, but having all that information in my computer makes me wonder how much my computer really knows. Can it be my tool if it is processing so much rubbish? And in the exact same sense, my mind, i think i'm drowning in information. I want to know what's happening in Darfur. But it doesn't affect me at all. American politics might affect me... but argentinian politics probably never will. Maybe i should try and simplify my life. But I dont want to be one of Howards mindless drones, getting all my information from propaganda. But the world threatens to cave my brain in, and fill up the empty spaces where i could have built my goals... I have to make this place my own. I have to make Marcelle my own, even if i still share her lol. What a crazy situation it all is where my girl is probably at the moment making love to sarah in a different city, and im sitting here beyond jealousy. Is that me becoming more mature in my love for her? I really think it is.

'I want something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live'

Anyway, enough for tonight.